Ok, I know this is going to sound strange but I was reading through the Bible the other day and the passage I was reading made me wonder: “I wonder what have been the strangest, weirdest, and most bizarre things ever to sell on Ebay?”

So, after a little research, I have put together a quick list of Barry’s top 10 strangest things ever to sell on Ebay.

#10. Pretend Monster under a Child’s Bed

Genius mom who sells a trouble making monster under her daughter’s bed! Brilliant!

#9. Ghost in a Jar
Arkansas man tries to sell a ghost in an a jar.  What’s really scary is to see how much the thing almost sold for! Boo!

#8. Virgin Mary Grilled Cheese Sandwich

A woman discovered her grilled cheese (yes, I said grilled cheese) had the image of the Virgin Mother on it. The sandwich would sell for more than $28,000, that’s a lot of cheddar!

7. Haunted Rubber Ducky

In 2004 a man sold a rubber-duckie that he says fought, antagonized and bit his son.

6. Man Tries to Sell His Liver on Ebay
A man from Florida put his organ up for sale on Ebay. The bid went as high as $5.7 million before eBay pulled it from its site. Stating it’s illegal to sell body parts on Ebay.

5. Illinois Cornflake

Two sisters from Virginia discovered a cornflake that appeared to be the same shape of the state of Illinois. They sold it for over $1,000. Aren’t all cornflakes shaped like Illinois?

4. Forehead Billboard

That’s right, Andrew Fischer, from Omaha, Nebraska sold the advertising space on his forehead for one month.  He agreed to get a temporary tattoo of any business name, slogan or domain.  The auction reached $322.

3. Woman Sells Right to Name Her Baby
When Melissa Heuschkel couldn’t decide what to name her fourth child she, of course, turned to ebay. In early 2005, Golden Palace casino won the online auction and, for a mere $15,500, was given the right to name the new child baby Golden Palace Benedetto.

2. Imaginary friend

Another completely wacko (or maybe genius) item that  sold on the net was the imaginary friend of a UK man. The image above is a picture of this imaginary friend whose name was Jon Malipieman, and as you can see he is imaginary. The man that sold Jon said that he was selling Jon because he felt like he had grown out of him.

In the official description of the product the seller made the following statement: “My imaginary friend Jon Malipieman is getting too old for me now. I am now 27 and I feel I am growing out of him. He is very friendly. Along with him, I will send you what he likes and dislikes along with his favorite things to do and his personal self portrait.” His self portrait is the picture you see above. Amazingly Jon Malipieman got 31 bids and ended up selling for over $3,000 dollars. Paying $3,000 for an imaginary friend truly is unimaginable!

1. A life for sale!

in 2001, after a bad divorce, an Australian man auctioned off all of his life’s possessions at one time.  The auction included his job, friends, car, house, and even his dog!  He now has his own website dedicated to the story of selling his entire life!

• The Value of the Kingdom of Heaven

This last item (A life for sale) is similar to the story in the Bible that started this whole blog post.  Matthew 13:44 Jesus is telling his followers a parable about the value of the kingdom of heaven when he says these words:

⁴⁴“The kingdom of heaven is like treasure hidden in a field. When a man found it, he hid it again, and then in his joy went and sold all he had and bought that field.

I read this passage and I was seriously challenged by the message of Jesus.  Do I treat this gift of grace and love, that I will enjoy forever, with more “value” than the things of this world? I wonder, at times, if I really “treasure” the kingdom of God (both present and to come) and treat it with more value than the gadgets and gizzmos that I adore. I am not saying that “things” are “bad”, I am just asking what do I/we value the most?  My encouragement for us today is simple.  Pause today, just for a moment, and be “filled with joy” (“…and then in his joy went and sold all he had and bought that field.”) that the “value” of being called a child of the creator of the universe is worth more than the accumulation all the the things you and I are striving for.  

On a lighter note, this passage got me thinking about how embarrassed I would be by some of the random stuff I own, if I ever needed sell everything. Which, of course, made me wonder about the most random stuff ever sold online! After my research for this post I realize that if the going rate for state shaped breakfast cereal is in the thousands of dollars then I had better get in on the action myself! So I am auctioning off one of the more random, yet brilliant, things I could find in my house!

When Rachel and I were first married, 12 years ago, we lived in a few mile north of Santa Barbara, CA.  Before the days of the “Circus-8″ Rachel and I would walk the Santa Barbara beaches and collect driftwood. My super beautiful and creative wife would then take the driftwood and paint a Santa face on them.  Alas, the Santa Barbara Driftwood Santa was born! To my knowledge there are no other Santa Barbara Driftwood Santas in the world!  We have put a driftwood Santa on ebay, and if you are interested, come and place a bid or at least take a look!  This is gonna be fun!

So, what is the most random thing you have in your house? Come on…Leave a comment?

• My Secret Phobia
  

Ok, I am going to share something with you that not many people know about me. The reason that I don’t tell many people about my little secret is because what I am about share sounds so benign, so innocuous and silly, that most people think I am kidding. Secondly, in my line of work as a Youth Pastor, if the truth gets out about this it could be considered an occupational hazard.

Ok, here it goes..(gulp) I… am… afraid of… wait for it… wait for it…FOAM. (There I said it. My therapist would be so proud of me. If I had a therapist. Or do I?)

Yes, Foam.

Well, the word got out at work, about my phobia, and some of my staff had a little fun at my expense. (No, I had no idea the camera was there)

Here are some of the questions I get from people when they find out that I, a 6’8″ 285 pound man, am afraid of….foam.

What types? all types! If it’s not a solid and not a liquid I don’t want it to come anywhere near me. Yes, Seriously.

Shaving cream, Whip cream, ocean foam (still not sure where ocean foam comes from), Root beer floats, lemon meringue pie, Chocolate Mousse, melted ice cream, pudding, Jello, foamy soap, lots of suds, the head on soda or beer… I could keep going but I just broke out in a cold sweat.

What happens? Whenever foam gets near/on me I have an immediate gag reflex. I have thrown up more times than I would like to remember because of my foam phobia.

Why are you afraid of foam? I have no idea. As a child I don’t remember being captured by evil marshmallow people or dropped into a vat of “cool whip” and left stranded on whippy island for days. I really have no idea.

• Fear

I know this is a “silly”, but true, example of a fear. Everyday life fears can be a difficult challenge and much more serious. Don’t believe me? Just ask the person who is dealing with loosing a job, losing a spouse, family issues, divorce, eternal fears, the return of terminal sickness, fear of an abuser, fear of a parent, fear of getting old, retirement, getting into the “right” school, fear of being alone, fear of losing a house, and the biggest fear in the world–the fear of not being loved or feeling that you are unlovable.

The Bible talks a lot about the different types of fear. The type we are talking about here is defined in the Bible as the “spirit of fear” (as opposed to the “fear of the Lord”, which is a post for another day.) like found in Romans 8:15:

“For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but you received the Spirit of sonship. And by him we cry, “Abba, Father.”

If your like me, at times, you wrestle with the”spirit of fear”. Well, you’re not alone. The good news? There is a cure.

Trust.

Trusting that the God of the universe loves you as His own child (…but you received the Spirit of sonship. And by him we cry, “Abba, Father.”) and wants the very best for you, even when life seems at it’s worst.

Last month, in Northern Virginia, we had a short but intense storm with gumball sized hail. My boys had never seen hail before and were very confused as to why, in the middle of summer, ice-cubes were falling from the sky. Ella, my 4 year old, was beyond scared at the jarring noise of the hail hitting the metal cars and the siding of the house. As the hail was bringing down tree limbs and tearing apart roof shingles Ella was holding onto me (my leg specifically) with all her might saying, “…Daddy, Daddy, hold me Daddy.” You can hear her crying for me in the background of this short video.

Ella trusted in the middle of the storm that I was not going to let anything happen to her. And, as her father, I would have done (and will continue to do) anything in my power to protect and nurture her. My desire and power to protect my children, however strong, is limited by my human condition. It’s always been helpful for me, when I get scared or fearful in the hail storms of life, to remember that Gods’ love, unlike mine, has no limits and that He loves me as His beloved child.

“For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but you received the Spirit of sonship. And by him we cry, “Abba, Father.” Romans 8:15

So, I am going to try something different with this post. I am asking anyone who reads this post to comment with two fears of your own. I want the first one to be a weird, quirky kinda fear/phobia. (Maybe you’re afraid of wet cats or clowns. Or, clowns holding wet cats?) And the second fear should be a more serious fear. (No, I am not asking for really personal or intimate fears on the web. But, stuff like: job security, sickness, etc.) Then I thought we, as the children of God, could pray for each other.

~Blessings

• Starbucks Philosophy 101

It’s not uncommon to find a Starbucks product placement in movies these days.  One of my favorite Starbucks clips is from the movie You’ve got mail because Tom Hanks offers a up a little Starbucks philosophy 101. watch the video then keep reading.

Ok, here is the quote I want to talk about today”

• Joe Fox …(who is Starbucks is designed for…) So people who don’t know what they are doing, or who they are, for only $2.95 you can get not only a great cup of coffee but a defining sense of self.

(more…)

Earlier this summer my friend, Stephen Jordan, (who recently broke the 5:00 mile!) and I walked over to Starbucks to get something to drink and catch up on life.  The moment we walked in the door I was greeted by a glorious aroma and John, my favorite Barista, who wasted no time reminding me that the my Philadelphia Flyers had lost in the Stanley Cup Playoffs.  You see, John is a die-hard Washington Capitals fan and I may have made a passing comment or two (or ten) when his beloved Caps (a heavy favorite) were eliminated in the  first round of the NHL playoffs. So, I probably deserved his friendly jabs and jibes.

After a few minutes dissecting some of the highlights of the playoffs and talking about our hopes for next year John looked up from the drink he was preparing and said with conviction, “I am just glad Philly didn’t win it this year, your fans are @$$%*!!*$.”

It’s no secret, of course, that Philadelphia sports fans have a infamous reputation for being… Ummmm, how should I put this? Enthusiastic! Yeah, yeah… enthusiastic.  In recent years, even I have been embarrassed to call myself a Philly sports fan in light of some of the true stories, making headlines, which usually feature an over zealous or just plain stupid Philadelphia sports fans.  John wasted no time. He began building a case, story by story, to convince me that Philadelphia sports fans are… not the nicest (or smartest) people in the world.  As John started making his opening arguments I began to feel like the defendant in a strange and overly caffeinated episode of Matlock. While continuing to make drinks from behind the bar he went through a heartfelt litany of examples to substantiate his claim.

Exhibit A: A Phillies fan/parent who apparently gave his 3 year old a son beer.

Exhibit B: Most of us have heard about the 17 year old Phillies fan that ran onto the Citizen Bank Field and was then tasered by a Philadelphia police officer.

Exhibit C: Flyers fans booed Vice Presidential candidate and “Hockey-Mom” Sarah Palin in 2008 at a Flyers/Rangers game.

Exhibit D: In 1999 Phillies fans booed the first U.S. hand transplant patient, who threw out the first pitch with his transplanted hand. When the ball dribbled across home plate he was then booed.

Exhibit E: At the beginning of the 2010 season, Matthew Clemmens,”Pukemon”, gained infamy for  intentionally vomiting on an 11-year-old girl at a Phillies game because the girls father repeatedly asked Clemmens and his friends, who were totally drunk, to stop cursing and being obnoxious.            **Although Clemmens is a Phillies fan, I would like the record to note that he is from New Jersey not Philadelphia.

Exhibit F: Susan Finkelstein allegedly offered sex in exchange for 2009 Phillies World Series tickets. She eventually got lucky, by not getting jail time in the case.

Exhibit G: Violence during Eagles’ games became such a problem that Philadelphia installed a court, judge and jail inside Veterans Stadium.

Exhibit H: Eagles fans boo newly drafted quarterback Donovan McNabb because they were disappointed that the franchise didn’t select RB Rickey Williams. McNabb and his family still are upset at the incident.

Exhibit I: In 1968, Eagles fans boo and then pelt a man dressed as Santa Claus who was part of a halftime ceremony. Stories vary on the legendary incident.  In 2003, the same man was asked to appear in the same Santa suit at a Sixers game. He was booed again.

Exhibit J: Eagles fans, including soon to be governor Ed Rendell, pelt the Dallas Cowboys and head coach Jimmy Johnson with snowballs at the Vet.  It was later discovered that may of the snowballs had batteries hidden inside.

Exhibit H: in 1999 Cowboys wide receiver Michael Irvin suffered a career-ending neck injury at Veterans Stadium. Philadelphia Fans cheered as Irvin lay injured on the field.

Exhibit I: The Phillie Phanatic’s (Mascot) head was stolen during a charity event at the Wachovia Center. After an investigation the head was finally  returned and its abductor was charged.

John was finishing his closing arguments and a lull arose in drink orders. He peered up at me from behind the espresso machine and he said to me, “…And YOU are one of THEM!  How does that make you feel?”

The prosecution rests your honor!

I thought to myself, “Guilty as Charged!”

I shared with Steven, on the walk back to church, that my conversation with John (about being associated with crazy Philadelphia sports fans) was a great lesson.  As Jesus followers/”fan”atics we are representing way more than just a church or merely other Christians with our actions and behaviors (although this is still important).  In my experience, each of us have a group of  people that we encounter (regularly or maybe only once) who watch our lives and our actions (the good and the bad) and closely associate it with the message and ministry of Jesus. Some people who have questions about what it means to be a “Christian” are looking to see if our behavior is congruent with the transformational message of grace and love offered by the Savior.  Scripture says we (our lives) are to be Salt, Light, to live as Ambassadors, smell like a a sweet fragrance, and to offer it (our lives) to God and others as a “living sacrifice.” With Gods’ help we are called to live with this intention, not because we are merely “supposed” to but in view of what Jesus has done for us on the cross.

What do you think? If you call yourself a Jesus follower do you believe you have a responsibility to act differently from the world? Do you think that how we handle our failures can be just as much of an example as never failing? More so? I recently saw a bumper sticker that said, “I love Jesus, it’s Christians I can’t stand.” Do you feel like this is a sentiment shared by most people?

If you are a fan of The Ordained Barista would you do me a favor and get TOB delivered right to your online reader? all you need to do is click on the coffee mug at the top of the page and pick a reader! I recommend Google reader but they all work mostly the same.  As I try to get my work in front of publishers my “platform” (including blog subscribers) becomes an indication of sustainability.

Thanks for your support and “Stay classy Philadelphia!”

• Busted!

Evidently Tekura Kobayashi was so emotionally distraught after reading my post yesterday, that he had wrecked my 4th of July celebration, that he rushed the stage at the Nathan’s hot dog eating contest and was arrested by New York’s finest! He was released this morning without bail.  Whatever happened to the good ol’ days when people went to jail for worthwhile causes? This recent development only adds merit to the point I was making yesterday,  that we are a society that has its priorities way out of whack.

I am afraid I have to share with everyone that this years 4th of July celebration just won’t be the same. Why? Is it because the nations economy is still on life support? Is it because oil fills our oceans and so many of our best beaches are vacant? Is it because the US was knocked out of the World Cup? Sadly, no. For me the reason that the 4th of July won’t be the same this year is because professional eater Tekura Kobayashi will not be competing in this years famous Nathans Hot Dog eating contest, which happens every July 4th since 1916, over a contract dispute with Major League Eating. Yes, you heard me correctly. A professional eater has a contract dispute with Major League Eating . It may shock some of us to find out that 1. There is a professional eating league. 2. There are professional eaters and 3. That they hold out over contract disputes just like Major League Baseball or the NFL. Now, If this was Major league Baseball “Nathans Hot Dogs” is the World Series and Kobayashi would be the A-Rod (Alex Rodriguez, he is really good, trust me.) of his “sport”. Kobayashi has the records for:

64 tacos in 15 minutes

17.7 pounds of cow brains in 15 minutes

20 pounds (9 kg) of rice balls in 30 minutes

83 vegetarian dumplings in 8 minutes

in 2009 he ate 64.5 hot dogs in 10 minutes at Nathans.

and many more.

Of course, I was being sarcastic about Kobayashi ruining my 4th of July celebration. But, his apparent hold out from the Nathans Hot Dog competition over contracts and money just got me thinking about how far of base we have gotten as a society. I’m not picking on eating competitions or Kobayashi for his unique “gift”. Heck, I’m a Youth Pastor, eating gross stuff is part of the job. But should it be? (Last week we did a competition with Liverwurst, Olive Juice, and Bubble Gum Soda.) I guess am just trying to challenge myself today, and this summer, to really think/pray about areas in my life (and in our culture) that just don’t match up with the teachings of Jesus.

I have been a long time supporter of World Vision and we participate in their 30 Hour Famine event almost every year. World vision puts out unbelievable facts on hunger in the US and all over the world. World Vision is also one of the best child sponsoring organizations in the world. So, this 4th of July would you take just a moment, during all the festivities, to give thanks to God for our country, way of life, our many blessings, and also consider how you can help out someone who is less fortunate? Happy 4th, and may God bless The United States of America!!!

I have been a fan of Randy Cassingham’s “This is True“ stuff for years.  His true stories and research make for great sermon illustrations.

I am just thinking that if you are gonna steal for a living isn’t “fast” supposed to be in the job description? Dude got run down by TWO Starbucks customers!

Ephesians 4:28

He who has been stealing must steal no longer, but must work, doing something useful with his own hands, that he may have something to share with those in need.

(Like making license plates?)